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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2010

i am not in my usual corner of the world. in fact, i am in an entirely different time zone, in Spain. tonight, i will dream in spanish, as i have been for the last week, and i will be hopeful of a bright new year, surrounded by new friends & family, good eats & a more positive outlook on Life.

196/365

to look forward, one must look back.
12 things i made & did:

i wept over pate sucree, an israeli movie and discovered a new love.

chinese new year. (february)
a weekend spent with phamily: playing dress up. sharing food. laughing.

once, long time ago we had the moon & stars, & we were so divine.

anyone who knows me, and they know me best, knows that i like being alone, being quiet, not having to speak, or entertain or ... be present.

i used to identify myself by who or what i belonged to. it's taken me a long time to figure out who i am. i am still trying to figure out who i am.

best weekend. (june)
best kind of balm: friends. picnics. fruit picking. crafting. sitting on a dock of a creek.

i've been thinking about beginnings lately. how exciting and daunting they can be. but when i sit down to think about it, i still catch my breath: i'm single. for the first time in a really long time, i'm not attached to anyone. it's scary. it's nice. and i'm enjoying it.

into the mystic. (august)
did you know that the stretch of I-83 that connects MD and PA is spotted with rolling green grass, blue skies that stretch far beyond the eye can see but the mind's eye? oh the infinite possibilities that eye can see...

i really should label these past hot months as the Summer of Carelessness -- where i abandoned decorum, appearances and essentially ran the risk of being abandoned.

now, years later, i can say, at least he gave me good babka.

this particular dish reminded me of vietnamese chao, or rice porridge but the sourness of the lemon and the sharpness of the lemongrass reminded me of thailand. heaven in a bowl.

glass ornament. (december)
and this is why i keep her around, she's good for my self esteem.

067

12 things i read, watched, or listened to:


humanity's fundamental flaw was emotion. racism is a regrettable byproduct of irrational emotion. {love & hate} are impediments of the human condition. in order for a racist to hate one group, he must at least love another. imagine what could be accomplished if the human race would only shed its humanity. the first casualty for conflict must be sentamentality, for its survival would be our destruction.


fat: an appreciation of a misunderstood ingredient by nicole, the habit of being (october)
Good quality fat is essential to our good health. Every cell in our body needs fat, our brain and hormones rely on fat to function, and fat supports immunity, fights disease, regulates digestion, and protects our liver.


little things and the lost art by staci, how very lucky to be a girl (march)
I know.  It’s the little things.  And they matter.  Really.  The little things are words of their own, silently telling us, showing us, reminding us how a person feels.  And the little things have become part of the problem.

the deep end of the pool by jackie summers, f*cking in brooklyn c/o Sex, Lies & Dating in the City (january)
I didn’t just fall for you; I dived. For impossibly long, perfect moments, I was the master of your deep. I could have stayed submerged in you forever.

little miss i'll take less when i always knew so much more/little miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about/little miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love.



true transformation by annie parsons, hooteannie (august 2008)
And lately, I have been learning that God can take anything and transform it into something worthwhile, something big, something of consequence.

the road by cormac mccarthy
dark of the invisible moon. the nights now only slightly less black. by day the banished sun circles the earth like a grieving mother with a lamp.

the killer angels by michael shaara

048

i'm not one for new year's resolutions, it's a set up for possible failure (tho i am a staunch believer that failing is just the excuse to try again...) but this coming year i have two focused items i must do, one of which is on my life list. here is to a much better 2011.

see you soon.

12 comments:

  1. Hope you are having a fantastic holiday in Spain. Can't wait to see where your adventures take you in the new year.

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  2. You're too cool.

    Your summer posts make me nostalgic for warmth and carefree-ness of lazy summer days that stretch on forever.

    And as for Spain, I hope you have a ballin time.

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  3. Have a wonderful noche vieja surrounded by beautiful people and good food and wine.

    Happy '11, Lan.

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  4. How fab to be in Spain! Hope you have a great time and lots of food and wine!! Looking forward to reading more of your life and adventures. Have really enjoyed reading your blog. Have a happy 2011, cheers deb

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  5. happy new year! hope you have a great one!

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  6. I love the look back on the last year! It's a nice way to end the year on a positive note.

    The photos are really reflective and were very calming to me. I'm very excite right now for some reason.

    And I totally agree about new year's resolutions...which is why I am NOT going to the gym today...or tomorrow.

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  7. thanks everyone, heres to a wondferful 2011 together!

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  8. thanks everyone, heres to a wondferful 2011 together!

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  9. happy new year! hope you have a great one!

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  10. How fab to be in Spain! Hope you have a great time and lots of food and wine!! Looking forward to reading more of your life and adventures. Have really enjoyed reading your blog. Have a happy 2011, cheers deb

    ReplyDelete
  11. Have a wonderful noche vieja surrounded by beautiful people and good food and wine.

    Happy '11, Lan.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You're too cool.

    Your summer posts make me nostalgic for warmth and carefree-ness of lazy summer days that stretch on forever.

    And as for Spain, I hope you have a ballin time.

    ReplyDelete