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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Orzo & Mushroom Salad ... and more

As inspired by antimeria's posts on introversion and being alone.

i spent my saturday, under a dreary sky, in georgetown with my cousins. we ate, gossiped, shopped and after a few hours, ended up wandering aimlessly in a bookstore. before long i was left to my own devices; tired and with their own plans they moseyed on their way out. i didn't mind. while i enjoyed my time with them, i was glad for a respite. anyone who knows me, and they know me best, knows that i like being alone, being quiet, not having to speak, or entertain or ... be present. i always used to say i was anti-social, my friends tease me sometimes about it but upon reflection, i thinks it's something else. i think it's shyness, at least somtimes, and it can be crippling. i am incapable of small talk. when asked what i've been up to, i usually flounder, shrug and then do the obligatory reverse and ask what they've been up to. sometimes, nay, most of the time i don't care what the answer is... just as long as *i* don't have to answer.

as a child in social settings i could usually be found in the corner, hiding behind a book, or in the shadows observing people. now, i get to pick & choose my socializing, tho even then, i tend to do the barest of minimum, usually the first to arrive at an event and once people start coming, i'm the first to leave. it takes me years to become friends with someone. my social circle consists of people i met years ago but took me many outtings with them to open up. and it may be a shock to them that I consider myself introverted and shy, because with them i'm not; i usually have a lot to say and blessedly, i have a steady and wide network of friends, but they forget the early days of our friendship... when i would move in & out of their way, to find a corner to just sit alone.

082

on sunday i spent a lovely afternoon with some friends at their house, bbqing, playing with their precious son; talking about Glee over herbed lemon chicken. kim made a gorgeous orzo salad, so full of flavor, packed with mushrooms and cabbage. these friends, i've known for almost 10 years and even with them, i took moments away to snap pictures, to be silent and just be.

i just finished watching the movie Once, it is mindblowing, poetic and fierce, soft and stark. and really inspiring.

So,
If you want something
And you call, call
Then I'll come running
To fight
And I'll be at your door
When there's nothing worth running for